Campaign of Awesomeness

I'm surrounded by idiots who want to kill me
I think they need therapy

I finally found them—the sole adventurers stupid enough to want to investigate the lights! This does seem like a death-bound mission, but at this point, there is no other choice. It has gone to the point that I am willing to sacrifice my life to get one good night’s sleep. I hope the wizard chokes on a furball, that’s how much help he has been to me. Though I would be saddened—-that I would miss watching him choke on pieces of his own friends! Hahahaa. Maybe I should try sneaking furballs into his food if I ever get back from this mess.

Arj- He seems to have some deep trust issues. And I think he is overly racist against rogues and wizards. His relationship to his sister is strained, so I sense some familial issues there. I wonder what is up with him? Verdict: Desperately needs a girlfriend. And some sensitivity training. Maybe I should set him up with someone.

Del- Seems to be very charming. Too charming. I saw how heshe talked to that prisoner. HeShe seemed to largely ignore me. I think we are off to a good start. Seems overly fond of boots. Maybe went barefoot as a child? Verdict: Needs therapy.

Garrick- Also seems overly fond of boots. Oddly fond of ugly prisoner. Seemed vaguely nice. Will try to test this. He is much bigger than he was when he was four. He was kind of annoying when he visited last. I dislike children. Verdict: He is still a little squirt.

Eldon- He seems to have some convincing power over Arj, and has been largely on my side, in comparison to the rest of the group. I wonder what makes him less antagonistic? Don’t ask questions. Don’t ask questions. Verdict: Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.

Prisoner- Man he is ugly. No wonder he joined the clouded eye, they are probably the only people who would interact with him. I kind of want to poke him, but then I remember that no one trusts me. Verdict: Kind of makes me gag. Should I put a wig on him and set him up with Arj?

Woman Arj- At least it’s not genetic. She accepted my scarf!!! Definitely should have played more of a role in Arj’s upbringing. Are they really from the same parents?

Knitting update:
After having gotten rid of the scarf, I think I will start working on knitting some sweaters for the party. They may be useful for if the lights get too hot. Stupid lights. Stupid Stupid zombies. One of them hit me! And I killed the other one. No one made a comment on my extreme cleverness and bravery. I am sorely offended. I wonder if the wizard has ever killed a zombie?
Wizard: 0
Clara: 1
HAHAHHAHAHAHAAA That shows him!

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Bracers Boots and an Old lady

Arj really hates new people. He left me in charge of the old lady while he went to go and talk to Eldon (presumably about his dislike for old people) She and I started talking though and it turns out I met her when I was little. Or at least saw her, she spent most of her time just ranting at the old wizard my dad made me visit with him. Like I said earlier she wants to help us kill the lights so the more the merrier I say (Arj disagrees).
We then decided to walk back up the mountain with our prisoner in tow. He woke up once I dragged him through some snow banks but then he was mouthy about the MOTFT and Eldon knocked him back out. I suppose he intended to ask him all the questions later but I don’t know why he started talking to him in the first place just to knock him out again. Besides usually we have Arj for that.
We arrived at Girl Arjs workplace and she told us what our magical items do. The bracers are useful but I can’t see us using the ring so I want to go somewhere and sell it and get new things. We also have a scroll none of us can use so maybe sell that too. When we questioned the prisoner I dunno what Eldon did when he hit him but by Odin’s spear he is an unfortunate looking fella. He gave us more information between angrily yelling at Eldon though including that Celrane has bosses and that there are multiple cells of the clouded eye. This might take a big longer then I thought to finish up. Also Eldon and I told Girl Arj all his stories about sleeping in garbage and lady gemmeth chatting. She was highly amused. Arj was not for some reason.
When we awoke the next day we learned we had two ways to get up the mountain which were taking the caves or just going right up. When Arj told us that the hag lady who took his arm was in one of them I was not going in them. My nursemaid used to tell me all kinds of stories about monsters and hags were some of the worst. We voted by majority to travel up the mountain and a few hours in Eldon saw figures in the distance. I knew that only clouded eye and monsters would be up the mountain so I started to charge. The rest of the party disagreed but charged with me. A good thing they did too as the figures turned out to be zombies. We killed them and then it was discovered that these were people Eldon and Elf had ran into before. Elf grabbed the boots off one but I knew they must be magical and argued with Elf over them for a while. Eventually I let Elf take them but now he owes me a magical item favor so it’s worth it. Although I guess if we sell the ring and I buy a magical weapon that counts too? I should have grabbed Dad’s polearm from Kisorbefore running away when the army got annihilated but I wasn’t going to wait around when the change to run arose. I wonder if he’s still around somewhere…. Either way I hope we finish up this task soon as despite my wolf pelt it’s fucking freezing up here.

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Snow is the LITERAL WORST

If we spend one more fucking day in the snowy wasteland I will bite someone’s head off. And I mean this quite literally; my Dire Wolf form is excellent for biting things. It’s also great for preventing me from feeling the effects of the cold wet MONSTROSITY that is snow. The only benefit to being up here is my proximity to Stormcloud, where I’ll get to converse with other Druids for the first time in a while. I can’t remember when my last circle gathering was. I hope they’re a Moon circle, but I’ll take what I can get. These past few days have been absolute dung. Battles, battles, more battles. Battles IN THE SNOW. Again, Dire Wolf form comes in very handy. And we got nicely “paid” today so that’s a plus. But I’d still rather be sitting in a Druid circle somewhere TROPICAL or at least temperate where I can grow flowers, inhale the smoke of my special flowers, and relax. Maybe this mountain has a hot spring…

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If a clouded eye member dies in the forest do they make a sound?

Spoiler. They do and it is loud and screamy. We arrived at the house around midday. The dragonborn hunters, delwyn, and the smaller sorcerer went around the house to scout it. It had a backdoor, lots of windows and someone chopping wood outside. We made a plan that Arj would cast sleep on him and if it worked we would drag him out and question him. We should have made a better plan if it didn’t work because it did not work at all. He resisted and began screaming and suddenly we were in combat. I fought like an einherjar, I swear I could almost feel Odin’s blessing on me. I don’t think I’ve ever fought better. I killed Celrane by smashing his head in with my halberdand a few other members while injuring the majority of them. Arj almost died when he ran through the house by himself (I don’t know why he keeps insisting on running off on his own. Guy doesnt even wear armor) But luckily I let his brother know and his clanmates bailed him out. Eldon was also knocked out by black sparkly magic but I revived him and we finished off the last few together. I knocked out the last one so that we could question him. I wish I had spared Celrane but I couldnt risk him getting healed and also the asshole had it coming after what he cast on me. I took his staff in addition to the other loot and I think I’ll make it a sacrifice to Odin the next time I find a temple of his. We also found a good deal of gold and gems along with some magic bracers. Hopefully this is the first step to dealing with the clouded eye. I just hope they don’t have multiple cells of members elsewhere, i’m getting tired of running all over the mountain. Something that might help with that is this old lady that ran up to us after the battle. She knew all of our names and demanded that she be allowed to come with us and put out the lights because they were making it very difficult for her to sleep. Hopefully she is of use but I don’t think Arj likes her. Obviously the first thing we did when she walked up is cast a spell. I think I’ve seen 10 new people that he hasn’t cast a spell on since I’ve known him. Also she never gave us her name so like elf I guess her name is old lady.

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Breaking a wall and taking back honor

In retrospect I think Female Arj had something to do with us getting to the trial. I swear I saw her move her hand before they announced we could do it. In any case they told us the test was to get an orb out of an old dragonborns hand. However we were not allowed to hit him and he could not hit us. That was great for me because I had left off my armor due to it being a fucking fancy council meeting. Hopefully my signet ring won’t break in this it’s one of the two things I have left of Dads. The Old Dragonborn raised his fist and a huge sphere of stone erupted around him. We each tried to get in the best ways we knew how. Elf turned into a badger and tried to burrow under, Arj blasted it with magic, I whacked it with my halberd and Eldon tried to trick him. I still don’t know why he wouldn’t just punch the rock when he’s willing to punch armor but to each their own. In any case Delwyn burrowed under and charmed the old lizard and instantly the sphere dropped. Eldon then deciding to change tactics simply snatched the orb out of his claws. It was all very very impressive. The council then said a bunch of lizard talk and Arj roared and shot lightning into the air. I guess that mean’s we must have passed. After this they switched to common (thank Odin) and told us a bit more about the lights. Because Arj had passed the test they owed him some kind of honor thing and though female Arj could not accompany us his brother and some other clan members would. We would likely need them as we head towards a house where the clouded eye was last seen. Hopefully we can think of a good plan to scourge them out of the mountains once and for all.

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We meet female Arj and she has wings

Turns out the smaller white dragonborn was Arj’s nephew. Who knew? Not him that’s probably why he cast that spell on him. Maybe he’ll stop casting spells on people the minute he meets them but I doubt it. As we walked with them back to their clans the little gold one was being all cocky about magic. “O I’m descended from gold dragons we’re so special blah blah blah”. Just because they were here first doesn’t make them the best. Also he seemed to think magic was unbeatable and I’ll give you a spoiler. He was about to learn it was not. As we walked up the snowy mountain Elf began feeling the cold and I purposed Arj’s old papoose so Elf didnt have to walk through the snow. I’m so nice. An hour later however I took him out when he and I sensed something amiss. Suddenly two huge monsters with white fur and blue eyes dashed out of the snow at all of us. They knocked out little goldie and started trying to claw the rest of us to death. We killed one of them but then another one burst out of the snow. Fortunately we used a combination of magic and brawn to kill them and continued on our way with the gold one hopefully slightly wiser. As we neared a hut the white one stopped us and told us we should wait here while Arj went inside. We did and heard a lot of yelling and crying and slapping noises from inside but eventually we went in and met a female dragonborn who looked a lot like Arj. She was pretty friendly and charismatic and seemed happy to see Arj even though he made that shifty deal. I guess family forgives a lot of things but I’m not going to forgive mine. Either way we then continued to the clans where we got to watch Arj cast a spell on his brother before joining them for a delicious meal. We then went our separate ways to sleep and woke up the next day to galivant around the town before going to the council meeting. At the meeting there was a lot of yelling in draconic before Arj eventually demanded his right to take the dragonborn test. Thankfully we all got roped in so he’ll probably pass. I’ll have to fill you in next time on if he actually does.

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Don't go shovin' Arj through waterfalls. Also his family isn't all missing?

Arj and I had spent an hour and a half trying to find Roseblossoms clans camp. Well he was looking I was following as I don’t have much experience in the wilderness. All of a sudden he completely switched directions. “I think we went the wrong way” is all he said. Of course this meant we needed to erase all the trail markers we left for Elf and Eldon. Man that was a great way to spend two hours but I’m sure what they did was more boring. (I would find out later what they did was not more boring. At the river Arj cast his light man spell and we followed it when it dissapeared. Then he stopped and just waited as I stood there concerned that he was having a crisis (again). Turns out he’d been taking to Rose and that she’d given him directions. We went up to their waterfall where he put his hand through. I saw the opportunity for a classic joke from the camp and shoved him through the waterfall. He smacked his head on the door and fell through. Classic Comedy it was.

I walked through after him and we met Moonlight the leader of the clan who thanked us for helping Roseblossom and agreed to send a message for us. Arj’s thing apparently does not work over great distances which is good to know. Eldon was all stubborn when we reached him but eventually he agreed to come back. Once he and Elf arrived Eldon shared the spoils he’d found as apparently they had run into some knights from the kingdom to the west who killed clouded eye members. Elf however is terrible at looting bodies. Maybe if they had been animals he would have found something. In any case we then went to sleep and set out the next morning for snowbird.

Our journey to snowbird was uneventful but when we got there a lot happened immidietly. Arj spied two smaller dragonborn and ran up to speak to them. The guards wouldn’t let them in the gate and despite Arj’s “skill” at persuasion they stood firm. I suggested they bring the person who was in charge and Arj began speaking to the while one and the nervous gold one. After much growling I very politely requested they speak common and they switched tongues. All of a sudden Arj cast a spell on the white one and dragged him off to speak with him. They began growling again and then both of them started crying? Hopefully Arj shares what that was all about.

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A papoose for Arjahan

The battle now over I went to check on Artiana. It turned out that she was fine and hadn’t moved since Obi had knocked her out again before leaving. I’m no mason doctor but that can’t be good for the old head. Maybe that’s why she was so unfriendly towards me during our conversation. That must be it since otherwise I am a sparkling conversationalist. I then left her to go speak with Gemmeth. I know that she’s a scholar and not in combat but she needed to know what it was like in combat. I let her know that she should learn more combat spells and then walked away. I’m sure she has a great excuse but a lady should be able to defend herself and it doesn’t seem like she know’s weapons so well. Maybe she can learn from Arj how to use his staff even if she doesn’t use spells. We decided as a group that we should at least start tracking the enemies now to try and catch them. We took a hunter from the town with us and he and Arj began speaking out woods things. Elf did not join in but I think he was jsut thrilled to have his wolf/fox signifigant others back. It seems our party is turning in to a zoo. O also before we left Eldon got some family letters. His niece does not write well. I wonder what it’s like having family that isn’t trying to kill you. Probably nice.

About 5 hours in we came to a fucking enormous ravine and began making plans to try and get around it. The first thing we tried was tying a rope around two trees on opposite sides using Arj’s weird hand thing. He then brought up that he was lacking in hands to get across and we tied him to my chest like a baby. While hilarious It was incredibly uncomfortable and it was definately because of this that it took me too long to get across and the rope snapped slamming us into the side of the cavern. My legs still fucking hurt from the stone. Following this we tied all our rope together one on each side going down and used them to get to the bottom. Once we got down everyone started freaking out saying they felt vibrations. I felt nothing at the time but Arj was screaming at me to start climbing so I did. Halfway up this enormous umber hulk smacked me down onto my ass and engaged our group in combat. I never imagined I’d get to fight one of these of the surface and I yelled to the group not to look them in the eye. The fight did not start well as I couldnt hit it at all and Only Arj’s spell landing. Also Ithilia almost died because she is a wolf and it was a huge armored bug. Elf seemed to go a bit crazy from seeing the wolf get whacked because he started running down the ravine away from us. Luckily Arj kept his wits about him and blasted the thing with lightning letting out a roar of triumph which because he’s a lizard was a literal roar. Still takes some getting used to. It had almost killed me though I can still feel how weak I am. I will never get knocked out again though. Not after the last time. I won’t let it happen. O also Arj grew like 10 inches somehow? First he grew older and now taller? Next thing I know I’ll turn around and he’ll be 100 pounds heavier

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Obi's dad is a babe

Well that was a weird fucking day. I saw the dust from the horse’s hooves from a mile or two away. It seemed that our reinforcements had finally arrived. Led by Gemmeth (but really Thoben I think she was there so they wouldnt get lost), they seemed like they would be ok at what they did. (it turned out they were) Arj led Gemmeth to the inn’s basement to show her the rune while I began showing the soldiers the best places to meet the Clouded Eye in town. While I was doing this however Arj came up to me and requested I open the door in the basement. I gladly agreed without even a comment. See? Empathy. I opened the door for them and Gemmeth went in to to turn off the rune (Phrasing is mine). However when we walked back up We heard fighting otuside and someone ran into the church. Eldon ran over and punched them a few times followed by my skewering them. (His reflexes are on point he always seems first to the action). After that I took a step back to create the bottleneck of them charging me. They would learn how the Garrickson’s took over Phog Tine’. We killed a few more cult members while Gemmeth cowered in the corner and Zarasiyad cured a few of us. At one point Arj cast a spell and then exploded with black light and let me tell you that fucking hurts. I hope that won’t be a consistent thing with him. I get hit enough without him trying to blow me up too. It seemed like we had the upperhand when all of a sudden 5 archers ran through the back of the church.
We charged them and in doing so freed up the door which is when that asshole Celrayn came in. He cast a spell that wrecked me again. It was a bad magic day for Garrick. It seemed like all was lost when there was a smell of brimstone and a man appeared out of nowhere. I’ve never thought about men being beautiful but by Odin this guy met that criteria. I can barely remember what he looked like only that he was GORGEOUS. Turns out he was Obi’s dad here from down below to take her and train her. O also He ordered the clouded eye to leave (spells again?) and they left. Then Obi agreed to go with him and they left too. It would appear our little group just got smaller but maybe she’ll come back with cool hellish powers that can also hit me when I least expect it.

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Garrick learns masonry and maybe some empathy

Well that was a strange day and a half. After being ambushed in a basement by Artiana (I need to stop trusting people at first glance). We woke her up from her slumber to talk to her. At least that was what we were originally going to do. Eldon went full on dragon born and began threatening her with a knife to her neck. Apparently he really really really hates the clouded eye. Must be something to do with the elk. We got a lot of information out of her including the key information that a goddamn spell that would create an explosion was in the basement. During this time Eldon knocked her out another 3 or 4 times. Would not be surprised if she was speaking in tongues when she woke up. I threw her inside my pack with her legs sticking out and covered her with a cloak while we worked to sneak her inside the Inn. Eldon decided the best course of action was to babble at the innkeeper until he deemed him sufficiently distracted. The weirdest part was that he wasn’t even drunk yet. Either way it worked and we were able to get her upstairs. We took away her clothes so she couldn’t get away and threw a blanket on her while we proceeded to watch her all night.Well most of us did. Elf wandered off to do what elves do. ( I assume tree humping).

The next day Arj cast two spells on Artiana to make her answer more questions and not escape. I’m not sure why he needed two spells but what do I know about magic? And as Arj made sure to remind us today he does know magic. In any case Delwyn came back with another pet. He seems to really like dog shaped creatures. We used it to send for reinforcements from the stronghold because we found out that her companions were going to blow up the TEMPLE the very next night. After that we went to the basement to scope out what we could see. There was a tiny hole in the wall which we later discoevered had been made by Artiana. I realized that their plan was to blow up the temple from the inns basement so they would not be caught in the blast. It took us a while to reallize this however as none of us were masons and lacked stone experience. Hell the most experience I have with stone is when that asshole would make me set up walls around his tent for no reason. I realized today I may still be traumatized from that. Arj and I went to talk to guards and he slipped up so I began teasing him in front of the guard. After he asked me why I always do that and now I’m beginning to think the slavery may have effected me more then I thought. Is that why I treat everything as a joke? Something to think about. I apologized and will try to refrain from mocking him in public in the future. Either way I am very excited to kill some clouded eyes tomorrow night. I can see the reinforcements coming up the road now and I am sure between all of us we will make a foolproof plan.

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