It is so rare when I get to meet people who understand the caliber, NO—SHEER DEPTH of my brilliance, and are able to to give it due notice. I guess that comes from living the entirety of my life in a forest surrounded by animals and a useless husband who tries every so often to invite me to “commune with the birds”, whatever that is. And then joining up with a group of emotionally deprived young—-companions. I guess. Except for Arj. He is just an incompetent ass who thinks it’s ok to shoot spells at people randomly. Well, someone is going to get poison ivy in their underclothes.
Anyway, back to my more considerate acquaintance, (Geneveeve) my opinion of him improved highly when I perused the contents of his wallet. 50 gold pieces for me, tralalalala! And some false identification papers that could come in handy. And he had such nice things to say about me. And Genneveeve even tolerated the group! Though if my granchildren looked like Eldon or Arj, I would arrange for them to be switched at birth.
Well, I guess I should keep a record of all the nice things Gieneveive said to me, just in case I need them someday.
1. “Halt! You are the most lovely thing that crossed my eyes today!”
2. “You look like a rich, sophisticated woman.”
3. “What charm, what wit! Can such cleverness be contained in one person?”
4. “No one deserves you!”
5. “You move with such elegance! Such grace!”
[list goes on for forty more lines]
Well anyways, Delwyn obviously seized the moment to turn half the party into Arj’s concubines when I brought Genaveev to him (wouldn’t expect anything less, honestly), Arj and Eldon embarrassed themselves, but Genevieve was perfectly wonderful the whole time.
I really can’t tell why Eldon chose to get rid of Genevive. It was unfortunate that he was a poser, but I was doing the same thing to him. I would have just preferred it more if he had additional gold in his wallet, as he had claimed. Though if I put my mind to it, there was something a little fishy about Genevaive. I mean, what self-respecting male would go under the pseudonym Ganevieve? I would rather be born with boils than be named something like that.
But in other news, I have discovered a new little trick. Unfortunately, Eldon has caught on, and being the moral policeman that he is, he chooses to whine about it at every possible moment. However my purse never complains, and that is really the only opinion that matters to me.
Though it would be nice to be complimented once in a while. It’s never “Oh Clara, you are so nimble-fingered and clever! Let me admire your wealth and glory!” Rather, it’s “Did you steal that man’s wallet?”
Please. When I die, just send me straight to hell without any of this reckoning nonsense.